simple #6

Alone on a train aimlessly wander

Outdated map crumpled in my pocket

but I didn’t care were I was going

They’re all different names for the same place
Coasts dissapear when the sea drowns the sun
I’ve no words to share with anyone
Boundaries of language quietly curse
All different names for the same thing

There are different names for the same thing

Death Cab for Cutie- Different names for the same thing

simple #5

monologue

Every matter comes to you... I know it's not that easy to go through.. but you are still alive until now.. nothing happen but stronger, right?
Did you have same problem every day, month, year? Nope! They were different! and you passed it all those things.
And now.. again.. it's just another mountain.
Different mountain.. but exactly with the same climber.. you!
masalahnya beda... tapi lo nya kan tetep lo..

and never ever think that you are the most suffering people in the world..
all those starving people will look at you as a hot yummy turkey and ready to cut off your flesh into pieces...

but maybe you'll say that...
....that's different with my condition and situation now..
alright then..

whatever it is..
you must believe that you'll never walk alone.
when no one there.. Allah will always besides you even closer from your vein.
when you need love from your someone, friend, family....
Heiii... Allah has timessss bigger even than what your mother has, you know? He's the best!
Allah will give you way out when others do nothing but just listening.
Allah will run to you even when you just come by walking.
Allah will send someone to give free shoulders or a warm hug or a crispy joke to wipe your tears away..
Allah has His own way to make you "go home" ... come close to His hand..
He knows that you just a bit miss Him, don't you?

and don't you ever think?
world is so so big...
people are more than many..
but why it happen to you?
why must be you?
are you special enough to be the chosen one?

don't you ever think?
maybe it's just because Allah doesn't believe people unless you..
Allah believes that only you who are able to go through this such kind of trouble..
Allah just believe it to you...
And how come you just put that trust aside while you are the chosen one?

but sometimes maybe you say that... I'm not as strong as what others think..
but Allah knows you more than you know yourself, doesn't He?

If Allah trust you, then how come you don't trust yourself, Han?

dad..

If I have to apologize to any people in this world..
believe me you will be the one I'll first come to..
sorry dad..
for never call you unless if I need some extra money..
sorry for never ask any question unless a crunchy "how are you?" before my begging words of extra money after that..
sorry for never share anything about my life, or even how much I score in every my semester...
sorry for any loneliness that may come in each of your day...
sorry for my only yes or no in every question to start conversation to me..
sorry for can't be as nice as other daughters of others dad..
sorry for any decision I made without asking any suggestion of yours..
sorry for run only to mom for everything.. everything..

but you should know how much I care about you..
I just can't say it dad...

simple #4

hey dad... how are you?

a bit fed up

If I can say it loud...

I don't wanna involve in any bustle which ready to blow up my head, or pump up my heart and running my beat in messy because of the time is almost reach deadline!

I don't want anything burden my - Inysa Allah - few - months - left - campus - life.

No deadline

No must this must that

No go here go there

No please this please that

No mid-night calling

No !

I just need my personal time to arrange my little step in this long path to be in someday I'll be-
*Insya Allah.

Could you just understand?

I     need      my      own     time.

but it's just a kind of "if clause" then..

I can't say it, though.
- yaa... it's because of a bit feeling of "friends' thing." :(

~~~

I don't know what Allah asks me to learn some more here unless it'll be worth for me.

thank's Allah to still put Your trust on me.. I won't complain anything... (iyalaa.. sapa guwa?)

I'll look on it as a bucket of boon and I'll do it Insya Allah as long as Your mercy stay along with me..

bismillah.... hoh!

simple #3

ldk'11

Some thank's words..

Thank's for Allah SWT for trust me handle this project and for teach me to be tough through a fun story.
It was fun, really.

Seeing hands of people arrange cups and chopsticks and small plastic sticks and sewing red and white pieces and whatever whatever build a pole to stand that holy pieces waving high.. was the best scene of this program! hoh!
I just worried if this last session wouldn't be able to put that feeling and message as what I expected.
but.. thank's Allah..
We did it! at least when I saw those glazed eyes staring straight and singing our holy song together.
That was so so touching.

Even though I had skepticisms to success this program but once I remembered my friend ever said...

In this time of difficulties don't ever say :
"God... I have big problem"
but instead, we should say..
"Hey problem, I have a big God" 

and it's enough to collect back all my faith and my spirit to keep my eyes stay open for the whole hectic night preparing every stuffs for next day program.

Thank's for the team... jeany, nyomie, erick, and amink..

The organizers and all committees..
it's great to work with you guys!
and for my roommates who become "impromptu volunteers".. hehe.. terimakasih banyak..

to all reds

Hey people,

why are you so proud become red among the blacks? 

maybe it's dashing enough and looks pretty cool, then all the eyes, cameras, or maybe spotlight will spot on you, but please...! turn your head around and ask yourself... are you in the right time, right corner, wearing right jersey? are you in football match or wedding ceremony? are you the bride, the groom, or just a little pony mini poky... what? whatever!

I think we are adult already.. *if I'm not mistaken.

then going back home and ask your heart! you know exactly when and where you should be different

or at least be silent if you don't like something, instead of hurting people who you think is... what? common? ordinary? normal?

yaa.. I forgot you are so special, you are not ordinary, you are abnormal..... very excited, indeed.

some other things you should ask yourself..

do you need to be different?

will you offend some people or let say.. community when you are different?

do you become different because you are really different or just because you need some flash shooting on you?

feel free to ask yourself.

To be honest, I'm not talking about something we are wearing, yet I'm talking about something's inside our head.

another last thing.......

Don't we remember friends? Being different doesn't always cool... well sometimes it will pull us into loneliness.
pathetic.

2nd meeting psychology

January, 23rd

01.30 pm

psychology class.

The tasks :

please choose either one below:

..... choose one day to awake for the whole day... 24 hours.. without sleep.. and write down all the things you do during that time. we call it sleep deprivation.

or

..... choose one day to awake for the whole day... 24 hours.. without take any food.. and write down all the things you do during that time. we call it food deprivation.

*no need to try ma'am! I know I failed already. next!

or

..... wearing the mismatched sandals, shoes, or whatever.. and go out your room to do some things outside.

*then how about money deprivation?

I think I deal with this thing everyday..

Totally sure, I'll get A ++

What I learnt :

.... People use facebook to compare themselves with others.

*haha.. that's one of the best common ever!

.... Students will highlight all the words inside the book to prove that.. "Ya.. I read this part already! next!" and they will be proud of those yellow words... ooo.. beautiful color.. nice to see..

Quote:

.... Memorize only what is needed and forget the rest!

*then... which pages are needed? could u give us some tips ma'am? so that we can throw away half part of the book!! *excited